


Release

by mida_malek



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Demigods, F/M, Mental Torture, Psychological Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-16 09:26:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2264475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mida_malek/pseuds/mida_malek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just when the Winchesters think they have everything under control... everything goes to hell..<br/>Happens after season 8 before season 9</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The devil you know

**Author's Note:**

> All the canon characters belong to Eric Kripke and the Supernatural world is made by him. The only thing i own here are my original characters and my story line.

 

 

Pamela's POV:

 

I woke up screaming and gasping for air. I knew it wasn't just a nightmare. I don't know how but I knew it really had happened…It was a vision. I kept staring at the pale ceiling, taking deep breaths to calm myself down a little before my phone started ringing. I didn’t need to check the caller ID to know who was on the other end and what was he about to tell me. I answered, my hands shaking hard.

 

"Hey."

 

Dean’s high pitched voice came, sounding very different than usual.

 

"Pam, there's been an accident…”

 

My heart skipped a beat as all my uncertainty was washed away by those words.

 

"It’s him isn’t it? Did he…” I swallowed hard, not able to say the rest of my thoughts. As if, saying them out loud would make it more real.

 

“Is it Emma?" I finally choked out.

 

"How did you…?" Dean began to express his wonder before I cut him short.

 

"Oh God…” I choked out. “I… I'm on my way to Emma's." I managed to say, now staring at the empty wall of my room. I was having a hard time processing everything. This was just too much and I was hoping Dean would realize it and leave me alone.

 

“Be careful…” was all he said before he hung up.

 

I could sense how scared he was. I knew how Sam used to have visions and where it had led them. I was scared too. No, I was in a total panic mode. My sister was dead. And Azazel was supposed to be dead! Dean had killed him himself. Unless…

 

I cleared my head and forced myself on my shaking legs. I had to face this. Of course, it didn’t mean I would get to stop my brain as I was driving the very familiar road to Emma’s.

I stopped the car as soon as I could see the flames going out of the half burned house. I slowly got out of the car, my legs shaking uncontrollably and it suddenly hit me. Emma was gone. My sister, my best friend… She was gone...

 

I tried to stop the tears from rolling down my face, seeing that Dean was heading in my way. I didn’t need anyone to see me so weak. Especially not Dean Winchester.

 

He stopped just one step from me and tried to catch my eyes with his green ones. I still had tears in my eyes and that meant no direct eye-contact. Then he hugged me. Dean Winchester hugged me. That had never happened before, but to my surprise it wasn’t uncomfortable. It felt… warm. The kind that really calms you down… he held me so tight like it was the most important thing to do at that moment and it made me feel cared for… a feeling I had never experienced before. He smelled like leather and soap, a sweet smell that reminded you of hot coco. It felt like I could stay there forever and feel safe. I couldn't fight the tears anymore and as I started sobbing in his arms his shoulder started getting wet.

 

"Shhh… it's gonna be ok… it’s gonna be fine. I promise. Ok? We will figure it out..." He tried to calm me down.

 

"You don't believe that yourself, do you?" I replied almost too quickly, not moving from my warm spot.

 

"Of course I do Pam. Have I ever lied to you?" Came the response as Dean held me just that bit tighter. I lost all control again and sobbed harder.

 

"Dean… what am I gonna do? I'm scared to my bones."

 

He pushed my short dark hair out of my face, trying to calm me down again.

 

"I know… I know… but you have to stay calm. Sam and I need you in this… especially Sam. I don't know how he's gonna take one more blow like this. He had already lost so much… now his wife too?" Dean took a second to get himself together again. Somehow it felt like the hug wasn’t just for my sake. I finally took half a step back, looking in his eyes. Somehow they looked even more beautiful than usual in the sunrise lighting, the tears making them shine.

 

"He doesn't know, does he?"

 

"I couldn't…" was all Dean could say, his voice getting caught.

 

"I know…" I tried to catch my breath. He was right. They needed me in this. And I them. I still had no idea what the vision meant. As if he had read my mind, he let go of me, holding my shoulder to get my attention instead.

 

"How did you know…?"

 

I looked up at him not sure how this would make him feel about me. I wasn’t Sam. He might try to kill me for this for all I know.

 

"Dean, I don't know if you're gonna like my answer to that…" I decided to say, putting more distance between us.

 

"Try me!" he challenged stepping closer again.

 

"Dean, I… I saw it… in my dream… right before it…" Dean let go of me, stopping dead in his track. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him. Dammit, Pam, what are you? Suicidal?

 

"Son of a bitch!" Dean finally breathed out.

 

"I know." I said looking away at the burned house.

 

"But… That’s… Doesn’t that mean that… Do you fit the pattern?" He used my silence to get out his words.

 

“No, I don’t..." I sighed helplessly.

 

"Son of a bitch!" He sat on the Impala’s hood, needing some hardness to lean on. I walked to the car, smoothing the hard cold, yet familiar metal with my palm.

 

"Hey baby," I whispered to the car and that got Dean to smile. He liked it when someone but himself felt that way about the car. A bit jealous maybe, but still happy. Not that he’d let me drive it though!

 

I suddenly felt like I wanted him to hug me again… it was stupid. We've both avoided this moment for like six months… and now we fall into it?

 

My thoughts were interrupted when Dean's phone went off ringing…

 

"It's Sammy!" Dean said. He had his unsure face on, as if he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. I looked away again, my thoughts back on my dead sister. It was like I had to keep reminding myself she was gone, maybe it would help it sink in.

 

"Sammy, s'up kiddo? It’s 4:30 in the morning man." Dean was trying to sound as calm and usual as he could.

 

"Dean, do you know where Emma is? I need her to check something up about this ghost and she’s not answering the phone… Can you go check up on her?" I heard Sam’s high pitched voice. He was clearly worried and boy if he only knew...

 

"Sam where are you? Are you on the road?" Dean said, staring at a hole on his worn out jeans.

 

"Dean…"

 

"Sam, answer the damn question!" Dean said, trying to stay calm.

 

"Yeah, why?"

 

"You should come home kiddo." Dean said with the saddest tone I’d ever heard him use.

 

"Dean, is everything alright? Is… is Pam ok?" Sam’s voice came and I would have started laughing if I wasn’t feeling like crying to death.

 

"Yes Sam, Pam is ok…" Dean was losing control. “Can you just come?”

 

"Ok I'll be home in an hour."

 

Dean hung up without another word.

 

"Dammit!" he shouted kicking the air. "I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch myself. I swear to God!"

 

I decided it was the time for me to talk to the police. I had to do it at some point. It was always torturous not to punch these assholes. I knew by experience how righteous they thought they were. But this time, it was even harder. The smell of burnt wood was making me sick, and for some damn reason I had trouble making complete sentences.

 

I finally got through with them and they decided to leave us alone. I promised I would take Sam in in the morning so they can talk to him.

 

I refused to talk to Dean after that.

 

When Sam finally arrived all that was left was the burned skeleton of the house and the smoke… the sound of the police car was still ringing in my ear. Dean and I both knew the second Sam saw the house he was gonna find out what went down so we were trying to be prepared for anything. Sam pulled over behind the Impala and I went forward letting him hug me. "Pam! Thank god you're ok." He said as if his worries were washed out for a second before he realized how odd it was for Dean and I to be there at that hour.

 

"Sam…" I gasped when he saw Dean and let go of me… for a second it felt like the whole world stopped and then he talked.

 

"Why are the two of you here? Where is…" He left the sentence unfinished and started running towards the house.

 

Dean tried to stop him but I held his arm, keeping him back.

 

"Let him go…"

 

I was fighting the new set of tears. After a minute or two, I decided to go after him and I felt Dean coming not far behind me. Sam stopped in front of the house and stared at what was left of it. He fell to his knees, sobbing heavily, chanting to himself ‘wake up, wake up’ and hiding his face in his hands.… I could feel how broken he was… I knew how it felt to lose her… at that second I couldn't fight it anymore… I went and sat in front of him. He was crying hard and all I could do was to pull him in my arms.

 

"What happened? " He whispered at first. "What the fuck happened?" He was shouting now.

 

"I… Sam… it's… it was Azazel…" I murmured.

 

Sam started shaking again when he heard the name but he didn't say anything. It seemed like he was going numb slowly but surely. And that scared me.

 

"We should go to my place… we all need to rest." I choked out, as I helped him to his feet, still shaking in aftershocks of my sobs.

 

 

When I came out of the shower and started getting dressed Sam was still asleep on my bed. I had literally drugged him to sleep 10 hours ago, after pouring a generous dosage of sleeping medicine in his drink. He was a mess and it was scary.

 

I went out of the room, drying my short purplish hair with a towel, and saw Dean sitting on the couch. He didn't have a shirt on. "I'm sorry." I turned my back to him, trying to hide the slight blush.

 

"Wait Pam…" I heard him reaching for his shirt and struggling to put it on. "Are you ok?" He asked and I lost it again. What the hell was he thinking asking that question now?

 

"Peachy.” I turned around to face him again. “My sister just died! Stop asking Dean. For heaven’s sake just stop asking!" I half screamed. I wasn't ok at all. I couldn't get over the pain and yet I still couldn't believe what had happened. Every moment I was expecting Emma to come out and hold me and tell me everything is fine.

 

"Pam, I'm not Sammy. Ok? I don't know how I should do this talk thing." Dean said in a worried voice that made me feel sick for worrying him. Who was I to make him worry about me? When he had Sammy to care about…

 

"Dean, I’m sorry… I… I’m fine ok? I’m trying..." I had a fake smile to prove it. Dean just sighed hiding his tired face in his hands.

 

"Dean?" I almost whispered.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"What are we going to do?"

 

"Well first we have to find a way to make you and Sam talk!" Dean tried to make me laugh and failed miserably.

 

"I'm serious…" I hissed at him.

 

"Me too! Very serious! You have to talk Pam. You have to tell me how you feel, what you think. It doesn’t need to be me, just someone! I’m the master of swallowing it all down, pushing it so far down that even you forget about it. But trust me, that doesn’t work. At some point it all come back to bite you in the ass..."

 

"Wow you sound just like Sam." I joked. Who was he to tell me not to push the pain down?

 

"You know what? Fine. Whatever. I spent so much time thinking I was the only one who felt the

pain of loss and it's just not gonna help, trust me!"

 

I rolled my eyes.

 

"Dean, for the last time, I'm ok. But we have to talk to Sam, I'm worried about him." I tried to point the attention to Sam’s direction. He was more worthy of the concern than I was.

 

"You shouldn't be. I'm fine!" Sam said standing behind me.

 

"Pam, what did you give me? I slept for 10 hours straight."

 

I looked at him, smiling a little. He looked better.

 

"You needed it."

 

He nodded and sat on the couch beside Dean.

 

"Ok, are you going to have a hunter’s funeral?" Dean said with uncertainty. It was a touchy subject.

 

"Yes!" Sam and I both replied at the same time. Then we fell silent. A silence that felt like it would draw for a long time.

 

Soon after that I decided on going numb, hiding in a shelter and I stopped talking unless it was an order towards Sam or Dean. So I don't really remember what went down in the next two weeks, I just know we were going to have a funeral. All of our friends and what was left of our families were notified. Hunting isn't really the kind of job that came with big happy families. Most of us got into the job after a member of our family dies in a supernatural way. But for Emma and me this was the family business! So it was for Sam and Dean. Our parents had all died. Actually, Azazel was the one who killed the Winchesters. And Sam’s ex-girlfriend. And now the wife… Poor Sam. it made it all the more difficult.

 

I recognized some familiar faces, other hunters, friends and some people we had saved; Emma and I. I guess it just hit me then, that she was gone forever. Suddenly I had this hole inside my heart and I couldn't breathe. It had been the two of us since our parents died in that fire at the Roadhouse. Dean had told me a few months back demons had done that too.

 

Emma had always tried to take care of me even though I was three years older. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear Dean. He shook my shoulder to make me understand that it was my turn to give my speech. I stood up. My knees were shaking. Dean helped me get to the stage. I had the pages in front of me but suddenly it seemed so stupid. I looked at Sam. He seemed empty too, no light in his eyes. In that second I decided not to read from the pages anyway.

"Hi everyone. Thanks for coming. Em would have really appreciate this. I know most of you thought to yourself 'why?'. Usually people like us don't get a funeral like this. Especially knowing Emma's body… well burned to ashes in that fire… but I… we needed to do this, to be with her again, even if it's just her memories. She was, as you all know, the only one left for me from my family and now she's…"

I stopped to compose myself. Then I saw her in the crowd, so perfectly calm and… beautiful. It hurt how much she reminded me of Emma.


	2. It’s good to see you too

 

 

"Lexi..." I whispered and she moved her head meaning. "Hi!" she had this smile, it reminded me of when we first met her. I continued, 

"Emma and I… we  were always together. There was this case, a djinn, and I as always thought that I was invincible I almost got myself and the girl we were supposed to help, killed but Emma saved my ass… she saved a lot of people and one, particularly, is here. I think we should listen to her side of the story…" 

I couldn't talk anymore. My mind was blank and I couldn't breathe properly. Dean helped me get back to my seat and Lexi took the stage. I could tell she wasn't surprised. It almost felt like that was why she had come there. 

"Hi, I'm Lexi, the girl that Emma saved years ago. I think the ones that knew Emma, all know how she made you feel… She would make you feel safe. With her it was always home. Emma was my best friend in college. She saved my life long before  anything supernatural happened to me . She didn't just save me from death, she saved me from myself and from having a pointless life. She gave my life a new color, she made me realize if I'm alive I must have a  goal… a mission. She was the kind of person who made you laugh, who always had your back and she is the reason that I'm here today…" 

I could see Sam's eyes… he was staring at her. It was kinda creepy, but it wasn't soulless. She came down and Sam went up. He cleared his throat. "Umm… hi. Thank you all for being here. I… I know this must be weird for all of you. I really don't know any words that can describe my Emma. She gave my life hope. She…" he stopped. There were tears in his eyes so he just finished off with this line: "I love you baby. I always have and always will."

After everyone left, I was helping Sam get the stuff people brought to the trunk, avoiding Lexi, when I heard her voice calling my name. 

"Pam, wait." 

I stopped dead in my track and heard her running the few remaining steps. 

"Hello, Alexis." I said formally. 

"Pam, please tell me you're ok with me being here." She said in an appealing kind of way. 

"You know that would be a lie." I said trying not to be furious. 

"Pam, it's not my fault that she chose me over you." 

"Alexis…just...just stop! I don't care, ok? It doesn't matter anymore. Emma is gone. I only want to remember her best moments with me. And you are not in any of them. Please just leave." I couldn't hide my fury anymore. 

"I can't!" She shouted. 

"And why is that?" 

"I need help. I'm in trouble. I did a stupid thing." 

"What did you do?" 

Then she continued with a shaky voice. "I made a deal with a..." 

"Demon?" I shouted. 

"No! Of course not!" 

"Then what?" 

"With an angel." I could hear the fear in her voice. I think she was afraid of how I might react and frankly she  had a right to be so. 

"You WHAT?" I said in complete shock. 

"I know, it was stupid and…" 

"Hold it! It would have been stupid if it was possible." I interrupted her.

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean you're in a bigger trouble than you thought, my friend. You have been tricked."

"What?" 

She was definitely scared now. I tried to be as calm as possible. 

"Tell you what, you should go with us. I need to talk to Sam and Dean. Go find Sam and help us take these stuff home." 

"Well, I can just do this…" 

She snapped her fingers and everything was in the trunk. For a brief moment I was too shocked to even think and then my mind was doing what it should and I heard my voice reciting the exorcizm: "Exorcizamus te omnis immundus spiritus, omnis…" 

"Oh come on! You really think I'm a demon?" She shouted above my voice angrily but I didn't listen to her and continued: "Satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversaril…" 

"Pam, stop it! I'm not a demon." She yelled louder and I stopped. Not because she said so but because I was almost in the middle of the exorcism and it hadn't affected her in the slightest. 

"Then how…?" 

"It's the deal, Pam. I asked for supernatural powers and…" She said in a much calmer voice. 

"And you gave your soul for it!" Dean said from behind me. "You're a freaking witch!" 

Alexis turned to face him.

"I'm not a witch." She rolled her eyes and continued. "I don't use spells. I just use mind power!" 

"What's going on guys? Everything just van…" Sam stopped talking when he saw all the stuff in the trunk. "How the fu…?" 

"Guilty!" Alexis raised her hand and said with a sinister smile. 

"We should talk." I said. 

I wanted to talk to Dean alone but there was no way I would leave Sam alone with HER! But I realized I had to talk to Dean. Before Alexis took him from me like she did with Emma! 

"Ok. Alexis, you should go with Sam." 

"I don't need a babysitter, Pam." Sam protested. 

"Umm guys, I'm gonna go with my own car if that's ok!" Alexis protested.

I was relieved. 

"Yes. Of course it's ok." And with that we got in our cars and started driving. Little did we know what we were driving towards…

**Author's Note:**

> don't forget to give me some reviews?;)


End file.
